


Just Me With My Eyes Shut

by gliese581



Category: Bandom, Jonas Brothers, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-09-06
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gliese581/pseuds/gliese581
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the 2012 Skippy Bingo. Prompts: Accidents, Side Effects, and Trapped Between Realities.</p>
<p>Kevin didn't remember much about the accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Me With My Eyes Shut

Kevin didn't remember much about the accident. What things he did remember were just snapshots, like old faded photographs. He saw Nick unsuccessfully batting away Joe's hands and Joe's mouth stretched in a grin as he tickled Nick's unprotected side. Kevin saw Mike, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he laughed. It frustrated Kevin that he couldn't remember anything _important_ , like the crash itself.

"It's your mind trying to process it the best way it can, one piece at a time" Gerard explained when Kevin asked him about it. "It's also the most traumatic. You lost Mike, after all, someone you loved very much."

Kevin toyed with the green rubber band on his wrist and snorted at that -- Patrick had said the same thing. Gerard gave him a weird look, but Kevin didn't reveal anything further and muttered an apology under his breath.

~

"Have you talked to Mike about the accident?" Patrick was not at all like Gerard. Where Gerard observed and asked questions, Patrick probed and dug. "It might be good for both of you to talk about losing Joe and Nick, people you both cared about."

Kevin didn't bother answering that Mike wasn't the type to talk about the accident. Kevin didn't tell him about Mike leaving for work early and coming home later and later every day.

"Fine, then tell me something else," Patrick motioned at the rubber band, red this time. "Your hallucinations haven't gone away?"

"They're not hallucinations," Kevin blurted out, before quickly looking away from Patrick. 

~

"Help me understand, Kevin," Gerard asked, leaning forward. "You say they're not hallucinations?"

"It just... happens," Kevin said. "Sometimes I close my eyes, and when I open them again, I'm somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?" Gerard made a questioning noise and that flipped something inside of Kevin.

"Somewhere not here," Kevin's voice grew louder after each word. "Somewhere where everything is the same as here, but not really. That stupid accident still happens, but it's not the same!"

Kevin didn't know he was gasping for air until Gerard put his sketchbook to the side and uncurled his legs to scoot closer. "It's all right, Kevin. Breathe."

~

"No it's not all right," Kevin said harshly. "Here, my brothers are dead and there, Mike is dead. I'm getting pulled left and right and I don't know what to do anymore!"

Kevin had already suffered through hundreds of variations of the same conversation. They all ended up at the same place. "And you're going to ask me to choose between them, when I can't! Why can't I just live like this?"

"Kevin," Patrick said, warning clear in his voice.

"I can't," Kevin said. "I can't choose, not if it means I lose either my brothers or Mike. I won't."


End file.
